Does staring at a screen make you feel depressed or anxious? Do your children perceive you as distant, rude, and aloof? Here are a few quick ways to free yourself.
To access your emotion, use motion.
When commanded to stand up while seated. Sit down if you’re standing. Move your body to break the chain that has been holding you captive. Leap and dive. Instead of ignoring or turning away from your child, move closer to them by moving across the room.
As soon as your child or spouse starts talking, turn your screen facedown.
When your child comes through the door, turn to face them. This is what makes a relationship healthy.
Greetings from interruptions Avoid being irritated by smiling.
Until you succeed, fake it. Remember that “not now is not never”! Still, your work will be completed. only later.
What would you like if you could go back and change something?
Usually, neglecting or ignoring your child will make you regret it. If your need for privacy is so strong that it interferes with your ability to be generous and kind, make a plan for success by setting a deadline. Convey to those around you that you are taking a 5-minute break to be a better mother by putting in place a support system, such as asking your spouse to pay closer attention to their kids’ needs or whipping up a surprise treat. For accountability, set up two timers on your phone. Give yourself a one-minute heads-up when your break session is about to end by setting one for four minutes and another for five.
For grounding, use touch.
Keep your kid close by. Take a whiff of your child. Look into your child’s eyes with both of your hands cupped around his or her face. Count to twenty. Your body takes twenty seconds to start producing the touch-stimulating hormone oxytocin.
Before your cellphone turns into the cell where you wallow, miserable, alone, and full of regret, fight the addiction.
It’s your responsibility as a mother to evoke a sense of home. Home entails “In my presence, you are welcome. I’ll protect you from harm (i.e. neglect and anger). I’ll make sure you feel understood, comforted, and seen.”
When your kids chime for connection, don’t get annoyed. You have the option of cutting off your child’s connection or the phone line. Your decision.
